Dangerous Creatures, Anyone?
by Demeter1973
Summary: Set after Book 11 - A drunk and disorderly Sookie takes up Bill's challenge and devises a ploy to bed him again.  Will he play his part?  Appearances by Bubba, and perhaps a fairy or two . . . plus some Southern-fried comedy!
1. Chapter 1

A/N – OK, so I've been feeling guilty about being AWOL for so long. And since I've been back, it's been angst central with my Bill fic. I can't help it. I love angst. It's like crack.

But . . .

I LOVED Book 11 most especially because Bill got to be funny. The guy really should laugh more. Sookie doesn't get to laugh enough either, at Bill or with Bill. Bill doesn't get to laugh enough at or with Sookie, either. Book 11 and the whole showing-up-naked in the hidey-hole scene (great stuff) gave me an idea.

We'll have some angst, of course. Hey, it's me! But, we'll also have a heaping helping of humor and some juicy lemons.

I'm going to add more to Reconcilliation, I promise. But I'm going to have waaaaaay too much goofy goodness with this one.

Hope y'all enjoy!

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><p>Chapter 1 -<p>

After three hours of Jeopardy and about two and a half glasses of spiked sweet tea (high redneck, I know, but that's how we cope and I was willing to cut myself a little slack after the week I'd had), I turned off the idiot box and grabbed a magazine. I tried my best to read the latest gossip and celebutard antics, but I just couldn't get my head around it. Maybe it was the bourbon-laced tea, or perhaps I was just too restless, probably both, but I re-read one article about six times and couldn't have told you what it was about.

It was still daytime, albeit late afternoon, so I couldn't call Eric even if I wanted too. What would I say, anyhow? We needed to talk, but I just couldn't bring myself to think about _that_ conversation. After Sandra Pelt, I didn't think I could look Sam Merlotte in the eye tonight, let alone have a heart-to-heart. Not for the first time, I really wished Gran were here.

I got my ample ass up off the couch before I had the chance to start the king-sized crying spell that I probably owed myself and walked outside. I started walking away from my house and willed myself not to think about where I was heading. Okay, I _tried_ not to think about it. It was wrong. First of all, I was still technically with Eric. Second, I felt kinda slimy at the prospect of running to Bill, my ex, for a bit of company and maybe more . . . boy, I really was drunk! I didn't want to use him or lead him on, but he was about the best friend I had handy at the moment, and I trusted him. After all we'd been through, I trusted him with my life and a whole helluva lot more.

Besides, I never really thanked him proper for his hospitality after my last visit.

That gave me an idea.

Boy, I was drunk as a skunk and ready to belt out the Southern woman's mating call. You know, "Y'all, I am soooooooooooo drunk!" Gran would be ashamed. Hell, I was ashamed of myself, but I wasn't about to stop.

I took the spare key from its new hiding place and let myself into Bill's house. Feeling a little light-headed, I leaned against the doorframe and then giggled like a damned schoolgirl. I closed and locked the door, stripped bare-assed naked, and folded my clothes as neatly as I could and placed them on Bill's table. I then walked to the kitchen, let myself into the pantry door, pried open the trap door to Bill's hidey-hole, and crawled in.

Boy, I thought the darkness was disorienting when I was running for my life, but it just about swallowed me whole in my intoxicated state. I crawled along the floor searching for Bill. If he didn't wake up right away, I figured I could have a little fun getting reacquainted with his body, so to speak. I mean, I had to let my fingers do the walking to find him, right? Boy, that was naughty!

Sure enough, Bill was right where he'd been before. I guess that was the vampire equivalent of having a favorite side of the bed. My fingers told me he was bare-ass naked, too. So far so good. I rubbed my hands along his chest, enjoying the way the hair tickled my fingertips. I also enjoyed the feel of his sinewy muscles. _Must be nice, not having to work out everyday to keep them._ That was one advantage the undead had over us mere mortals. Still, I felt a pang thinking back to my conversation with Judith, knowing the price he'd paid.

I felt him stir and held still for a second. When he stilled, I let my hand wander a little further south. I felt kinda bad about all out molesting the man, but he'd woken me up the fun way a time or two when we were dating. Judging from his sudden 'growth spurt,' he sure didn't mind. Well, his body didn't mind anyhow. _Men! Ha!_

I was getting all hot and bothered myself. Maybe I could just climb on up and continue my little journey of rediscovery . . . After straddling him as best I could (hey, low ceilings don't help) I sighed and snuggled, burying my face in his neck and taking in the scent of his cologne. It was so much that it turned me on (though it did), but it just felt comfortable. Like coming home after a long day at Merlottes and curling up on my own sofa under my favorite quilt. It brought back a lot of memories, but thankfully those of that awful time in a darkened trunk didn't come crashing down to spoil the moment.

"Sookie?"

"Hey, big boy," I said before bursting into giggles, "is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

"I don't have any pockets."

Boy, half-dead vampires were just about as slow as molasses in January. Either that, or his nether head was so busy appreciating my proximity that the one on top just couldn't catch up.

"That was a joke, Bill," I said, a touch annoyed, "You really ought to work on growing a sense of humor. You know that, right?"

"Now I know I'm not dreaming. It's not dark yet, I can't . . ."

He was out again. Talk about déjà vu! Well hell, I guess I'd just have to work a little harder. I wriggled and squirmed until his manhood rested right smack dab against my yahoo palace, and then I wriggled and writhed a little more. We had a real good time for about five minutes (well, I did at least; I was conscious) until I was stopped dead in my tracks by another familiar voice with an unmistakable drawl.

"Miss Sookie? What are you doin' down here with me and Mister Bill?"

_Shit, shit, double shit! _

"Um, Hi there, Bubba. I was just, um, well, that is . . ."

I was so embarrassed I could have died, but then I heard him snore and I relaxed again.

Then I burst out laughing.

Vampire Bubba snored!

And, since he was close by and brushed up against us with his leg, I also knew that Vampire Bubba was bare-assed naked, too.

Whoa! Time to go! This was one cock off I did NOT want to be a part of!

But I swore I would never let Bill live this down.

Still drunk, horny as a Billy goat, and more than a little disappointed that my little ploy hadn't gone quite as planned, I climbed out of the hidey-hole, donned my clothes, and let myself out. I stumbled back to my house, determined not to cry. I was a happy drunk, not a whiny-assed crybaby drunk! The crybaby drunk in the family was Jason, but he'd kill me if I ever told anyone.

I patted Bill's headstone on the way back and did shed a tear or two over this missed opportunity. I also whispered an apology to Gran on account of my very unlady-like behavior. Then again, given what I'd learned about Gran and the fairy-fuckin' she'd done back in her day, I thought she'd be less inclined to judge.

I walked back to the kitchen and made myself another cocktail. I know, I know, after the way I'd acted, the last thing I needed was another drink. But I wanted one. It would help me forget the ache in my heart, not to mention aches a little bit lower.

_Fuck a zombie!_ I would not let this little setback (Okay, big, Vegas-chunky-Elvis-sized setback) get me down. I'd just have to find a way to get a do over. I fired up my computer and went to email. Bill always checked email. He was a tech geek vampire, plus his whole business was computer based. He'd open mine right away, I figured. Even if he didn't remember our little encounter, he'd smell me all over his crawl space, and his body.

_Dear Bill,_

_Give me a call when you're up for the night and when Bubba goes out catting. I'd like to come by and chat. It would be better if you were alone._

_Sookie_

I resisted the urge to add 'It would be better if you were naked, too' at the end and just hit send before I had the chance to change my mind. I got up from my computer desk and moved back to my sofa to wait for sunset.

* * *

><p><em>Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!<em>

"Hello," I mumbled. Jeez, I'd fallen asleep. It was full on dark outside and had been for a quite a while. Hey! He sure had taken his sweet time!

"Sookie," he said in that silky, sexy voice. Maybe he had remembered some of what happened, "I received your email. Is everything all right?"

" 'Course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"You were in my home earlier. In my resting quarters."

"Yeah . . ."

"I had the strangest sensation that you were naked."

"Yeah . . ."

"Sookie, have you been drinking?"

"Work that out all on your own, did you?"

Okay, I'll admit it. Bill was smart and educated and worldly, and maybe I was a tad bit intimidated what with my lack of formal education. I was also a little irritated that he wasn't getting it. My message, I mean. If he kept being so damned thick, he really wouldn't be getting it.

I heard him sigh. I also got the impression that he was trying not to laugh. See? That's what I mean. The guy just didn't laugh enough. We'd had more than a few laughs the last time I'd crawled into his hidey-hole, in spite of the danger. I kinda liked it. I kinda wanted some more of it.

"Sookie, is there something I can do for you?"

"Well, I'm not being chased by white trash thugs or being threatened by any supernatural critters, so you don't need to be on high alert or anything."

"That would be a refreshing change of pace. Bubba has left the building, by the way. You can come over if you'd still like to chat."

"You just made a joke!" I said. I was busting at the seams proud of him.

"Spotted that, did you?"

"Hey! You did it again!"

"I'm hanging up the phone now, Sookie. Come on over. Oh, and if it isn't too much trouble, could you bring me back my Aunt Edwina's Spanish shawl?"

"You got it. See ya in a sec."

I hung up and giggled like a schoolgirl again. I naughty schoolgirl. So he wanted his shawl back, huh? Oh I'd give it to him.

I got busy getting ready and prepared to give Bill Compton a great big old reason to smile.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N – More laughs and (eventually) a serious turn – but mostly more laughs for now. I'm going to have fun screwing with these two before I let them screw. Did I mention that I'm on that long road to maturity?

Enjoy!

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><p>Chapter 2 –<p>

I still had a healthy buzz going, but I wasn't so drunk as to go walking through the graveyard separating my house from Bill's in the dark and nearly naked. I was also responsible enough not to drive drunk, unlike my dumbass brother. So I compromised and put on some underwear, my nightie, and Aunt Edwina's holey shawl. I figured I could always strip off everything but the shawl once I made it to Bill's front stoop.

I was just about to head out the door when my phone rang. _Hmm, a little anxious, are we? Well, well, well . . ._

"I said I'd see you in a sec. Miss me that much?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. But I do believe you were expecting someone else - one of your vampire lovers, no doubt. Really, you are wasted on those creatures. Why don't you give the Fae a try?"

"Oh! Hi Bellenos. You're right, I was expecting someone else, not that it's any of your business. What can I do for you?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Well pardon the hell out of me, but after your last visit I got the impression that you weren't all that into humans. You asked me to cover up, remember?"

"You're not entirely human, but for a hybrid I must confess that you are quite fetching. I found your skin to be rather . . . distracting. Forgive me if I came across as brusque. Claude has tutored me in how to be more sensitive to your kind."

_Talk about the blind leading the blind!_ "Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that. Did you have any other reason for calling, or did you simply want to proposition me?"

I could hear his breathy, odd laughter over the phone. It sounded funny, but a little too much like one of those heavy breather phone calls for me. I was glad when he started talking again. "I am restless. I very much enjoyed the visit to your home, especially the hunting. I was hoping for another reason to visit. Have you had any more intruders?"

"Well, you missed some excitement with a shifter, a were, and a bitch who wanted me dead. At the moment, though, I think I'm Okay."

"Are you sure? You sound rather . . . restless, too."

_You can tell that over the phone? _ "Right, well I'm actually just on my way out the door, so I'm sorry I won't be able to help you. Maybe some other time?"

"Promise?"

He sounded so hopeful, I went ahead and told him yes (against my better judgment). It must suck, being stuck in the same building in Monroe all day and all night. Plus he had to spend a lot of time with Claude, my manners-challenged Fae cousin. Not that it mattered to an elf, mind you.

I ran for the door and high-tailed it out before any more phone calls could interrupt mission screw (with?) Bill Compton. I'd stumbled halfway through the graveyard when Bubba popped out from behind my Gran's headstone and scared the Bejesus out of me.

"Jesus Christ, Shepherd of Judea, Bubba! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry Miss Sookie! I was just lookin' out for Mr. Bill, making sure no one was snooping around."

King de Castro probably had some spies in the area, and he's surely want to interrogate anyone involved with our recent Area 5 shakeup that culminated with the end of Victor Madden. If Bill sent Bubba out, he must be on edge. He'd probably need something to help him relax. _Miss Sookie's a bad, bad girl for wanting to help out._

"Did Bill ask you to look after my place, too?"

Bubba beamed, his crooked smile marred only by the fangs. "He sure did, Miss Sookie!"

"Thanks Bubba," I said, "I'll go thank Bill myself."

"Okay, goodnight Miss Sookie!"

"Oh, hey Bubba? Are you planning on sleeping at Mr. Bill's in the morning?"

"Nah, I think I'll just sleep out in the woods tonight. Mr. Bill said he needed some time to himself," Bubba said. Then, realization seemed to dawn on him and he broke out into an even larger fangy smile. "Then again, I reckon maybe he was hoping you'd stop by."

I started having second thoughts then, and I sorely wished that I had brought some more booze with me. Bubba kept right on smiling, and then he became pretty agitated. I was just about to go into back-away-slowly-and-hope-for-the-best mode when he said, "Hold on a second! I've got just the thing for y'all! I'll be right back!"

He disappeared at vampire speed and then reappeared just as quickly. He held out a bottle of amber liquid and I took it. _Holy shit! Courvoisier? Seriously?_ I almost snorted, thinking about those funny Tim Meadows 'Ladies Man' sketches from SNL. Laughing at a gift would be rude, though. Laughing at a vampire gift could be deadly.

"Thanks," I whispered, trying desperately to keep it together.

"Aw now, Miss Sookie, don't cry! I always liked this stuff back in the day . . ." he trailed off. Remembering his past got pretty dicey, so I thanked him again and excused myself so I could go and see Bill.

When I made it closer to the Compton house, I could see Bill standing on his front porch looking agitated. Shit! I hid behind a tree, hoping he wouldn't surprise me once he caught my scent, and stripped as quickly as I could. After I wrapped the blanket back around my body, I picked up my clothes and booze, and walked on toward the house.

"Sookie! What took you so long? I was worried." Bill said as he zoomed toward me.

_No reaction to my state of undress? Jeez, was I losing my touch?_ "I had a phone call, and then I had a run in with Bubba."

I waited. He just stood there staring at me with his great big brown eyes. At least his fangs were poking out a bit, not to mention the bulge in his pants. Other than that, though, he didn't give any outward sign that he appreciated the view.

"Well," I said, getting a little more pissy and a little less tipsy, "I brought your shawl back."

"So I see," he said, looking me up and down with greedy eyes. _That's more like it! _"Would you like to come inside? You really aren't dressed for the great outdoors."

"What's wrong with au natural? You sure didn't complain the last time."

"I wasn't conscious the last time."

"You know what I mean!"

"Yes, I do," he drawled. He leaned against one of the stately columns adorning his antebellum mansion, a pose that put his lean, hard-muscled frame in a flattering light. Bill didn't often pose, but he clearly knew how. Seemed as though he wanted me to appreciate the view, too. But the mixed signals were starting to get old.

"Well, are we going to stand out here and have a Mexican stand-off all night, or are we going to go inside and . . . talk?"

Bill made a small bow and extended his arm toward the door. When I walked up the steps, he offered me his other hand. It felt cool as ever, but the effect on me was blazing hot. Once inside, I felt emboldened enough to drop my clothes and the bottle of booze (luckily it didn't break – Bill was pretty house proud and would be ticked off if I stained his antique rug), press him to the door once he'd turned around to face me. I pinned his arms against the aged cypress and pushed my body against his. That got me more fang from above and more bulge from below.

"What are you doing, Sookie?" he growled.

I started laughing. I just couldn't help it. I mean, seriously? Ask a stupid question . . . I had to press my face into his chest (boy, oh boy did that feel nice) to stifle my giggles. I felt his arms go around me and lift me from the ground. I snuggled closer into the crook of his neck and sighed.

"I believe you are still drunk, Miss Stackhouse."

"Well hell, Sherlock! You sure are swift on the uptake!"

I burst into giggles and felt heady when I heard and felt the rumble of his chuckle. God, I'd missed his laugh. Would I have admitted that if sober? Maybe not. But I still knew it to be true. If it took a few glasses of bourbon to realize that, well so be it.

I felt my heart start racing when he placed me on his large, four-poster bed. Oh goody, goody, goody! I was going to get to have some really good sex now from a guy who knew how to do it. Bill and I had had our problems, but this wasn't one of them. I felt kind of guilty comparing it to what I'd experienced with Eric, but hey, comparisons are inevitable, right? Eric was all rough and tumble, raw energy and a big finale. Bill could do that, too, but Bill could also do smooth, soft, and slow burn. We'd never had that cock-off that I'd daydreamed about, but really there was no use in comparing. They both had skill, stamina, and a whole lot of experience.

I decided that I definitely wanted slow-burn Bill tonight, at least for starters. We could always go for monkey sex later if we wanted to. I wondered if I'd have to spell it out for him. Nah, Bill could read my body pretty well, as I recalled.

He smiled down at me and pulled some pretty scarves out of his top drawer. With a look of pure lust, he asked, "Do you trust me?"

"Oh hell yeah!" I said. This was new! I'd never played tie-me-up-tie-me-down before.

"May I?" he asked as he wound one of my wrists in silk.

"Yes," I breathed. I wondered when he was planning on unwinding my shawl. Maybe he'd make a big show of opening his early Christmas gift.

He proceeded to tie each wrist with a separate scarf, loose enough to be comfortable but tight enough to hold, and then secured them to the corresponding bedpost. He then sat next to me on the bed and looked longingly at my body. His face showed a tinge of regret. _Oh hell, just stop thinking and kiss me, idiot!_

"Close your eyes," he whispered, his voice shivery.

I did, and then asked, "What are you going to do to me?"

"Something I've wanted to do for a long time," he answered.

That's when I felt him shove the scarf into my mouth. _What the hell?_ This was NOT what I'd bargained for when I walked my drunk ass over to his house. I opened my eyes, gave him my very best 'fuck you' look, and started to thrash around. It was no use. Apparently, old boy scout Bill had earned a merit badge in knot-tying sometime in the past couple of centuries, because I could not free my hands. I was also unable to spit out the scarf.

"It will be easier to breathe if you stop fighting," Bill said calmly.

I kept thrashing and tried to yell.

"Yes, Sweetheart, I'm well aware that you aren't happy with me right now. You came over to my house with a specific goal in mind, and as much as I would like to accommodate you, we need to talk first."

"Ahh cnt tk fff hss n mhh mfff."

"I know, and I promise I'll take it out soon. But first, I need you to do something for me. Something that is exceedingly difficult for you to do."

"Whhf?"

"I need you to _listen_."

_Oh great! I'm still horny as a Billy goat and mister party pooper wants to have a serious conversation._ I was lucid enough to realize that we probably should talk before I did something I might regret, but I wasn't about to tell him that! Maybe I could just tune him out, like all those invading voices in my head? I looked at him and envisioned how he might sound in my mind as I did that – kinda like the teacher's voice in those Charlie Brown cartoons. _Whaha whaha wha ha wha . . ._

That made me start chuckling again. Bill looked exasperated. I had to admit, I liked him that way. It took a lot to rattle the guy's cage. Of course, it probably wasn't going to get me anywhere.

"Sookie, this is serious. If you can't pay attention to what I'm going to say, I'm going to have to leave tied up here in the naughty corner."

That did it. I laughed until tears started rolling down my face.

"Damn it, Sookie! This is serious! Do you want a spanking?"

More tears and near hyperventilation followed. This was better than high school, _American Pie_, and _The Hangover_ all rolled into one!

"Oh, that didn't come out right either!" he groaned. He must have seen me turning purple, because he just shook his head and yanked the scarf out of my mouth.

"I'm not going to win this, am I?" he asked.

"Why do you want to win?" I asked, taking on a serious turn so fast it made my head spin.

"Because the stakes are too high for me," he replied, running his finger down my tear-stained cheek.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 –

"_Why do you want to win?" I asked, taking on a serious turn so fast it made my head spin._

"_Because the stakes are too high for me," he replied, running his finger down my tear-stained cheek._

Three. Two. One. Lift-off and Laugh-off!

I laughed so hard I snorted. Very unladylike, I know, and it would probably piss him off, but he's a vampire! And he said 'stakes'!

"Boy, you're on a roll tonight Bill!" I said between whoops and snorts, "Maybe you should take this act on the road."

He just stared at me.

That made me laugh some more.

Until I realized that he'd gone into Vampire downtime mode. No fair! I was gonna tune him out for starting a serious conversation, not the other way around!

"Bill? Hey Bill? Earth to William Thomas Compton?"

He just sat there, staring off at . . . nothing. _Asshole!_

I nudged him with my foot, which kinda hurt since it was like jamming my toes into concrete. He didn't budge, or give me any sign that I'd gotten his attention.

I thought about trying to wait him out, but that would be stupid. Vampires could be patient. They had forever. Sighing (and fighting like hell not to laugh again), I looked up at him with my sad puppy dog eyes and said, "Bill, I'm sorry. You were saying?"

I blinked my eyes and he was gone. Like, gone. He did that Vampire thing and left. I was stunned.

I was naked.

And I was still tied up.

"BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL!"

* * *

><p>After yelling for what I guessed to be five minutes straight, I ran out of voice and breath. Luckily I still had my buzz, otherwise it would be super panic mode. Admittedly, it took a lot more to get me panicky these days. Another fabulous side effect of my crazy life with crazy supes and their crazy-ass, deadly adventures.<p>

He wouldn't leave me like this forever, would he?

The phone was out of reach, and I'd left my mobile at home. I hadn't exactly had a pocket handy. I spied a remote control just in reach of my right foot, if I stretched. And what do you know? Bill had a TV in his room. Of course, he'd cleverly hidden it in an old chifforobe, but the door was ajar and I could see most of the screen.

_Now if I could just turn it on . . ._

_Got it!_

_Shit!_ Of course he'd have the most complicated cable plan with the complicated menu. I needed my hands for this. _Damn it!_

After some serious contortionist maneuvering that would probably leave me sore come morning (and not in the fun way), I managed to lift the remote with my feet and drop it into my right hand. Too bad it made the shawl ride up, leaving my lady parts exposed. I'd just have to cross my legs and try to stay warm.

I had a hard time, not being able to see the buttons and all, but I finally got to the option that lets you channel surf. _Hey! Animal Planet! My favorite show! _ At least I'd be entertained while I waited for Bill to quit pouting and get his ass back up here.

"Hey Bill! If it's not too much trouble, how about you bring me some popcorn? And a coke."

No reply. He was soooooooooo stubborn. If I were to be honest with myself, that was at least half our problem. We were both obstinate (word of the day) and determined to outdo each other. I enjoyed it in the bedroom, of course, but it made our arguments pretty nasty.

The sooner we got done with this one, if it even was an argument, the sooner we could get to the make up part. I shivered, remembering the way we'd made up after Dallas, back before what we had went all to hell.

I was getting pretty antsy, and uncomfortable. Plus I needed to pee. Time to pull out the big guns.

"Bill Compton, you come up here right now and untie me, or so help me God I'll pee all over your bed! I mean it!"

I waited.

"Don't think I won't! I crumpled Alcide Herveaux's clothes with my ass not too long ago and by golly I'll piss so big that you'll never get the smell out of your mattress!"

"You would, wouldn't you?" he said. Right up in my face.

I screamed. I couldn't help it. And I almost peed on his bed by accident.

"That wasn't funny, Bill."

"Sookie?"

"Yeah?"

"What. On. Earth. Are. You. Watching?"

"_Hillbilly Handfishin'_ and don't you dare say a word about it!"

Bill fell back on the bed and laughed. I mean, he laughed so hard I thought _he_ might pee himself, if Vampires peed, that is. That was my first sign that we might just be O.K.

But I wasn't going to let him off easy.

"This coming from a man who listens to Kenny G? Who sleeps naked with Elvis Presley in a hole in the ground? Who TiVos . . . _Jersey Shore_?"

The last part got him. "How did you know about that?" he asked, wiping the bloody tears from his face.

I found it while I was messing around with your remote control.

"I sometimes watch it before I go out hunting," he said, "then I don't feel so bad about glamouring dimwitted humans and taking their blood." At least he looked sheepish.

"Oh, I get it. But I was serious about needing to pee."

Bill untied me and let me walk to the bathroom. I tried to pee all quiet, but I knew he'd be able to hear me. Why that should bother me was anyone's guess. Hell, he'd once helped take me to the bathroom when I was stuck in the hospital.

He'd also spent time sitting with me at various hospitals, keeping me company. He'd wrapped me in his arms and held me so I could sleep, asking nothing of me in return. And the last time we'd both been in the hospital together . . .

I flushed, washed my hands, and took a long look in the mirror. He would have died for me. He almost died.

I needed to stop thinking so much if I was going to stay horny. I would rather be horny than sad. But, of course, I was gonna have to deal with all of this stuff sooner or later. It seemed like Bill wanted to deal with it sooner.

I walked back out and sat down next to him. I was still naked, but to his credit he looked me square in the eyes rather than ogling my unclothed body. My buzz was wearing off, which would probably make the conversation harder.

As if he'd read my mind, Bill handed me a glass. It was Bubba's Courvoisier, on the rocks. I was about to take a swig when he spoke.

"Just promise me you'll stay reasonably sober, O.K.? I'm not sure I'll be able to do this again."

"Promise me you'll take care of me when you're done?"

"Promise me you'll hear me out?"

"Yes," I whispered.

He nodded and offered me my clothes. It stung, but then he said, "This is _not_ a rejection, Sookie. I want you. You know that."

"Yeah," I muttered as I pulled my pants on. After I'd pulled my shirt over my head, I saw that he was looking at me. Intently.

"I think one of the greatest mistakes I made where you are concerned is pushing you away when things got rough. I should have told you everything, no matter how hurtful. I owed you honesty. I didn't pay you that debt. For that, I am truly sorry."

I nodded. I shouldn't feel bad. He did owe me an apology. I suspected he'd be giving me a few more, as much as I dreaded rehashing the specifics. Still, I couldn't help but feel . . . unworthy. Crazy, I know, but that's the first emotion that flashed through my mind.

Bill seemed to sense it, since he reached for me and pulled me into his embrace. He stood and held me, asking nothing in return. No taking. Only giving.

I sooooo did not want to cry.

"I do not wish to cause you any more pain, Sookie. I only want to heal the hurt between us. Once we do that, you may choose to stay or to go. I'll ask nothing from you."

I nodded, rubbing against his chest with my face.

"Do you want to stay here, or do you want to talk downstairs?"

"Here's fine."

Bill let me sit at the head of the bed, my back propped with pillows that he arranged with great care. He sat facing me, maintaining a respectable distance. He opened his mouth to speak, but I first blurted out, "Could you just do the blanket version of an apology instead of dragging out . . . everything?"

That was bad of me and I knew it. But I just couldn't think about what happened in the trunk. I'd buried it deep in the recesses of the places-I never-wanted-to-revisit file in my heart, right next to Uncle Bartlett. Plus it was too complicated. And I knew it had hurt him, too.

His eyes let me know that he understood what I meant, as did the red Vampire tears swelling around them. He nodded and said, "Yes. I read a very interesting book recently - one written by a dying man. He said that proper apologies have three parts."

A beat of silence passed before he started again. "What I did, _all_ I did, was wrong."

I nodded.

"I feel badly that I hurt you." His voice broke. The tears fell then, for both of us.

I nodded again. I believed him. He was truly sorry.

"How do I make you feel better, Sookie?"

I thought about it. He'd atoned as far as I was concerned. That wasn't the issue. The issue had been the first part, and the second. He'd admitted he was wrong. Out loud. To my face. Finally. As much as it may have wounded his pride and bruised his ego, he was finally man enough to face it. And I was finally woman enough to listen.

That was what had bugged me earlier, I realized.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen before. I'm glad I'm listening now."

"I'm glad, too, Darling. But I still need to know what I can do to atone."

"You've atoned and then some, Bill. As far as making me feel better, aside from the obvious," I said, waggling my eyebrows and giving him a naughty smile, "I think I'd like to laugh with you a little more."

He raised one arched brow, which looked pretty funny on his tear-streaked face. "I'm afraid I don't know many jokes, Sookie, at least not contemporary ones. I was never good at telling them anyhow."

"You don't have to tell me jokes or do stand-up or slapstick or anything like that. You just don't . . . laugh enough, Bill Compton. _We _never laughed enough. You probably don't know this, but when we first met, you know, after the drainers and all . . . I was mesmerized by the sound of your laugher. It was rusty, like you didn't use it."

"I didn't often, before I met you."

"It was one of the things I always loved about you."

A spark of hope ignited in him, and it lit up is beautiful face. "What do you suggest?"

I bounded off the bed and started digging through the drawers of his chifforobe. Rude, I know, but after all we'd been through and the conversation we'd just had, I figured he wouldn't mind. I pulled out what I wanted and turned back to face him while keeping the contents of my hands hidden behind my back.

He just sat and stared. _Good grief, did he need me to draw him a diagram?_

"O.K., Bill, this is a little game where you pick what's in one hand or the other."

He looked wary, which made me start giggling. That broke the tension a bit. But he still didn't pick a hand.

"Come on, Bill! I'm not asking you to disarm a nuclear missile or write a thesis on the meaning of life, for Pete's sake!"

"I'll take the left."

I pulled out the DVD with a sense of triumph. This was going to be fun.

"You have got to be kidding me . . ."

"Oh lighten up! It'll be fun! Go get some popcorn for me and a True Blood for yourself and I'll pop this baby in the DVD player."

He just sat there. _Stubborn jackass!_ I'd have to make him pay later. The fun way!

"Listen up, buddy! You asked what I wanted, what would make me feel better, remember? Were you just blowing smoke up my ass, or did you mean it?" I asked, hands on my hips, right toe tapping.

He heaved a sigh, got up, and walked to the door, "I'll have to run out and get some popcorn. Any preference?"

"Movie theater butter flavored. It's the best! And . . ." I said, walking over to him and planting a kiss on his cheek, "so are you. Just wait! You'll love this!"

He rolled his eyes, but he also smiled. Then he vanished.

I did a little happy dance and popped the Mel Brooks flick into the DVD player.

_Dracula: Dead and Loving It._

This was going to be a super fun night!

* * *

><p>AN – The book bill references is _The Last Lecture_ by Randy Pausch.

I know, I know, I had to go and get all serious - but I promise more fun, more funnies, and eventually I'll get to the lemons. Remember, kids, anticipation makes the eventual reward sweeter . . .

BTW, _Hillbilly Handfishin'_ is a funny show, I don't care who you are.

But remember, friends don't let friends watch _Jersey Shore_.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 –

"Oh come ON Bill, that was funny! Admit it! I don't care what century you grew up in, watching a vampire girl stick her boobs in a stuffy British guy's face is freakin' funny!"

"Hmmpf," he replied.

"What? Good grief, what!"

"She didn't even try to glamour him. You call that seduction? And the fangs are so . . . unrealistic. As is her pallor. And her accent, if you want an honest assessment."

Boy, was I glad I'd taken another few swigs out of the booze bottle while he was out on a food run, otherwise I'd have lost patience with him a half and hour ago. The guy just needed to loosen the fuck up! Seriously, I'd sat through all sorts of ridiculous movies with him . . .

"Hey Bill, remember when we watched _Pitch Black_?"

"How could I forget? You seemed rather taken with the lead actor, Vin Diesel."

"Yeah, and you were rather taken with those ugly flying aliens, right?"

"Yes."

"So, I recall telling you that the special effects were pretty cheesy." I'd also had to explain what cheesy meant in modern times, but that was another issue.

"And I told you that you should try and suspend your disbelief. I get it, Sookie, I do. And I am trying very hard to do as you wish and laugh with you."

"But?"

"But you have to understand, living as a Vampire and watching a movie like this, that makes light of our situation, no matter how funny it may seem to you, is very difficult for me."

I heaved a sigh. So far, so good. I'd worn him down with the film. Now if I could just get him interested in . . . other things. Don't get me wrong; I was serious when I said I wanted to laugh with him more, to hear him laugh. Only, that's not what I wanted right at that moment. What I wanted was red-hot Vampire Bill sex all night long.

Hey, I'd learned to be devious, too.

He turned to face me, gracing me with his intense, undivided, unadulterated interest. Oh boy, drunk or not, it touched my heart as well as tingled my loins. When Bill focused on me, he really, _really_ focused. I always did love that about him, too.

Eighty-five percent of the time.

When he focused on giving me what I wanted.

"Sookie, please, I am trying. Perhaps another film? I think _Young Frankenstein_ might work better. Shall I fetch it?"

"How about a game?" I asked, all chirpy and perky. I knew how to fake like I was having a great time. Years and years of practice. Fuck a duck, I was gonna need more alcohol!

"I do not recall laughing while playing Scrabble, but I am willing to do what is necessary to please you."

_If only!_ "Nah, I had something different in mind. You might even like it, since you seem so hell bent on talking all night. I mean, whatever happened to the strong-and-silent guy I used to know?"

"I thought you wanted me to be open with you, to communicate. Isn't that what led to the end of us?"

_Yeah, that and you leaving me to go back to your maker, and lying about why you came here, and a whole lot of other stuff, but who's counting?_

I don't know how he managed, but he looked triumphant and sad as hell all at the same time. _Shit! Can he read minds?_

"You are still angry about many things, as you have every right to be." He added the last part double quick before I could snap at him. "I wish very much to quell your anger and heal the hurt beneath it, Sookie. That is why I wish to talk tonight."

"Fine! Here's your chance!" I chimed in, still in super-freaky perky mode. "Truth or Dare, Bill?"

"Excuse me?"

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" I yelled, exasperation fueled by alcohol fueled by unquenched sexual desire of Biblical proportions filling me (instead of Bill).

The source of my exasperation sat calm and quiet, waiting for me to explain.

"Okay," I said, switching effortlessly back into super perky mode. "Here's the CNN version. Pay attention, because I don't think I'll be able to get through this again. You have a choice. Truth means I ask you any question I like, and you must answer honestly. Dare means you have to do whatever I ask, no matter how silly or outrageous, or else you're a complete and total pussy and you lose. Understand?"

"I fail to see the point of such an exercise, but I agreed to do what you wish to make you feel better."

"You get your turn, too."

He seemed to be chewing on some thought or another before his face lit up and he gave me a big, fangy smile. _Oh, yes, Big Boy! Come to Mama!_ Fangy meant excited, and excited meant Sookie might finally get some Vampire lovin' from the most exasperating, infuriating, stubborn, sexy, overprotective, devoted, deceptive, lost, desperate, dependable, and desirable male she'd ever known.

"Who's first?" He asked.

"Me. Truth or dare, Bill?"

Now, knowing how much he loved to talk these days, I thought for certain he'd go for truth. But nooooooooooooooo! Mister unpredictable had to go and choose dare. Well, I was horny, so you'd think I'd go for something like 'Hey Bill, I dare you to rip off your clothes and mine and fuck me until I faint.' But I was in a quite a mood by then. And really, how often would I get the opportunity to mess around with the guy?

Plus, he could make me laugh.

And maybe after we'd done that, we could finally get around to the fucking.

So I gave him my dare. I threw down the gauntlet, I gave him the proverbial white-gloved slap across the face I-challenge-you-to-a-duel treatment, and then I sat on his sofa and waited for him to make his preparations and man-up-or-shut-up. I wondered if he'd actually do it. I mean, if he did, would I kill any chance of getting laid and if so, would it be worth it? I didn't even bring a video camera!

_Oh hell! Don't over-think it, Sookie, just go with it!_ Besides, if he actually did go through with it, it would be his turn next and he'd have his chance at paybacks. Hey, it would put his "Ah am a true South'n gentlemahn" schtick to the test.

* * *

><p>He appeared, then. Oh. My. God. I had never seen anything so freakin' hilarious and sexy and just downright silly in my entire life! Clad in his boxers, top hat, and nothing else, he bowed low, tipped his hat, and even grabbed a walking stick and started to sing.<p>

_Hello! ma baby_

_Hello! ma honey_

_Hello! ma ragtime gal_

_Send me a kiss by wire_

_Baby, ma heart's on fire!_

_If you refuse me_

_Honey, you'll lose me_

_Then you'll be left alone_

_Oh, baby, telephone_

_And tell me I'm your own!_

And then I laughed. And so did he. We both laughed until we (O.K. until I) couldn't breathe and then we laughed some more. I mean, he actually did it! And by golly, he could actually sing! And boy, Oh, boy, did he look fine in those boxers!

"Oh Bill!" I cried, clapping and giggling and actually squealing with delight. "That was AWESOME! You are such a great sport! And it is so great to see you cut loose and laugh!"

"Sookie?" He asked, once he'd come back to his senses.

"Yes, Bill?"

"Truth or dare?"

* * *

><p>AN – Thanks to all of you fabulous reviewers out there for taking this crazy ride with me. I almost died laughing with visions of sexy Bill dancing like the Michigan J. Frog of Looney Tunes/Warner Bros. fame!

For those of you younglings out there in Cyberspace, look it up! You'll thank Auntie D later for contributing to your Pop Culture Education. Call it my sense of civic duty. I do what I can.

Damn it, Bill! Get with the program and get naked already!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 –

_Sookie?" He asked, once he'd come back to his senses._

"_Yes, Bill?"_

"_Truth or dare?"_

O.K., I'm no fool. I may not be educated, but I wasn't dumb enough to take the dare option after making the guy dance around in his undies for me. Lord knows what he'd plan for revenge! So I opted for truth.

"Did you really rumple the Were's clothing with your derriere, Sookie?" He kept smiling, but I could tell he wasn't happy about the prospect of me hanging out with Alcide Herveaux sans clothing. Though for all he knew, Alcide had just shifted.

"Yeah," I said. "I came home to find him sprawled out naked in _my _bed! Uninvited. Well, uninvited by me anyhow. Amelia thought it might sway me to forget about Eric, but it didn't work."

"Hmm," Bill hummed. "Would it work for me?"

"I don't know," I said, deflecting. "But I can ask Alcide to come over and crawl into your hidey hole with you. It seems to work for Bubba."

"Touché, but I'm not fucking Bubba. Besides, _you_ were the one who showed up naked in my hidey hole. Twice."

"And _you_ have yet to do anything about it, so . . ." I trailed off, deciding any snappy comeback I could throw back at him would probably come across as whining. Or begging.

He leaned back, propping himself up on one elbow as he lay on his side. It had the desired effect on me and he knew it. I was getting ready to tackle him, but then he had to go and open his mouth again.

"It's your turn, Sookie."

"Fine! Truth or dare, Bill?"

"Truth."

"If I hadn't emailed Judith, would you have just let yourself waste away?"

He rolled over on his back and sighed. Typical Bill Compton. Did I really expect him to tell the truth? _Shit! I actually did!_ I was like Charlie Brown, always running after the damned football to kick it even though Lucy was just going to pull it out of the way at the last minute and let me fall on my ass.

But then he surprised me by sitting up and looking me square in the eye as he said, "I had been to see Dr. Ludwig, and she had some ideas about treatments. I don't know if they would have worked or not, but I was willing to try. Your kindness spared me the unknown and gave me a sure-fire cure, as I told you. I am only sorry that I hurt Judy in the process."

Huh, I hadn't even thought about the witch doctor, or supe doctor, or whatever she was . . . _Oh, healer! That's right!_ Well that made sense. I was glad to know that Bill hadn't been suicidal. Of course, he was quiet now. Suspiciously quiet.

"What aren't you telling me?"

He sighed, but he didn't look away. I could tell he wanted to. His every instinct was to shut down and close himself off. It was kind of his M.O., at least since I'd known him. Turned out, I was in for more truth than I'd bargained for.

"I've been seeing Dr. Ludwig for a while now, Sookie."

"Why? Are you sick?" I felt my heart sink and then begin to race. Vampires didn't get sick! But, Bill had been so sick with the silver poisoning, and he'd been so weak and in a lot of pain. I couldn't stand it, which is why I did my little B&E number and looked up his vamp sis. But if they could get silver poisoning and the sino virus, maybe vamps could get other things.

_Jesus Christ, Shepherd of Judea! Could vamps get cancer?_

I felt his strong arms grip me and pull me into his lap, soothing me. His fingers washed away the tears that I hadn't realized had started to fall. He hesitated for a moment before licking them from my face. It was too much. I reached for him and kissed him gently, my lips pleading for entry as my heart pleaded for him to open up to me. He groaned and started shaking before he pulled away.

"Bill, don't -"

He held me at a distance as he calmed. His eyes held something I hadn't seen before, I thought. He was afraid.

"We need to talk some more."

"Bill, I -"

He looked at me again, his eyes imploring. Did he think I would leave him right now? _Oh my God, he did. Of course he did. _ It's not like I hadn't walked out before.

I moved my hands to cover his and said, "I'm not going anywhere."

He relaxed a bit, then he said, "I've been seeing her for depression. I recognized the signs a while back, of course. Even before I took the human psych course, I'd followed the field."

"Is it because of me?"

"Not entirely," he said. "I needed to deal with a lot of issues. The loss of my maker, as much as I loathed her, was a traumatic experience. It is for any vampire. I grappled with the effects of the torture, then the Fae war, and us."

"Did you ever think about . . .?"

"The true death? No, that would be the coward's way out. I decided to face my demons and heal. The silver made it more difficult, but you removed that particular obstacle."

I understood all too well about loss, trauma, and breakups. He didn't have to explain that part. Still, I never thought of Bill as the sort of man who struggled with anything. He'd always been so cool and collected. I felt sad at first, realizing that I'd never known that side of him. But, he was telling me now. That made me feel better. Like I knew some part of him that no one else did. And I would make sure to keep his confidence.

"Are you better now?"

"Getting there. But I believe you've taken your turn and then some, Darling. It's my turn. Truth or dare?"

"Truth." I figured after that confession, I owed him some dark secret of mine. Of course, he knew most of them, or so I thought.

He prefaced his next question by asking, "Promise you'll not take this the wrong way and get defensive?"

"Well when you put it like that!" I snapped.

He waited. Patiently. He was good at that. _Oh hell, I guess I could try to hear him out!_ I took a deep breath. Then another. Then I said, "O.K. Fire away."

"Do you want more out of life than being a waitress, Sookie?"

Boy, oh boy did THAT ever pinch a raw nerve! I tried to be calm, but all I could think about was Bill strolling into Merlotte's with Selah and her smug business-woman aura. I know, inferiority complex, but I couldn't help it! School was torture, and most jobs around people were unbearable. I mean, it wasn't like I was hurting for cash right now, with Claudine's dying gift and the money I'd saved from my work for the vamps, but still.

O.K. I had an inferiority complex. But I figured if Bill could swallow some pride and admit to depression, I could own up to my issues.

"I'll preface this by saying that there's nothing wrong with being a waitress and I'm proud of the work I do, understand?"

"Of course. You should be proud of yourself and your work. But you could be so much more."

"Could I?" I asked. Maybe I was asking him, and maybe I was asking myself a little, too. It hadn't occurred to me to ask myself until now.

Bill flashed me a fangy smile. He had a beautiful smile. In that moment, he seemed positively giddy. "Don't go anywhere."

He did that vampire thing and disappeared. When he reappeared just as suddenly, he had his laptop and a folder with him. He passed me the folder while he fiddled around with the computer. I was going to make some comment about what sorts of sites he liked to look at dressed only in his undies, but the contents of the folder stopped me dead in my tracks. As did the sticky note on the cover that read "For Sookie."

"What is all this, Bill?"

"Here," he said, putting the computer in front of me and himself behind me. I was still horny, so I appreciated his position and proximity. But, I was distracted by the overwhelming realization at the depth of his devotion as his gesture began to sink in.

"See here," he said, clicking on a link. "You can take this test and figure out what classes your really need and which ones you can skip. And you can work at your own pace. You took a few correspondence courses when you were younger, right?"

"Um, yeah," I muttered. I'd mentioned that to him once. How long had he been thinking about this stuff? "I have enough credits for first year core courses, I think."

"You do. I checked. Now, I was thinking - just hypothetically mind you - if you used accounting for your math credits and took the basic science courses, you could earn your bachelor's degree in business in a few years. I could help with the computer courses and get you set up for online classes. I mean, if you want."

I was floored. He'd done some serious research on my behalf, and for no obvious benefit for himself that I could think of offhand. I mean, I figured he might have done it to win me back and all, but he hadn't said anything until tonight.

"Well, I might need a higher speed connection . . ."

"I can hook you up with mine. I don't use it during the day, of course, and I can rig it so my wireless reaches your house."

I flipped through the folder. It held print outs for grant and scholarship applications, and even a few for small business loans for female entrepreneurs_. Incredible._

"So you've put a lot of thought into this, huh?"

"Well, I thought you might be interested in branching out. Maybe you could be a bar manager or an owner."

I gave him a look.

"Or," he said quickly, "You could start your own business. Anything you wanted. The possibilities are wide open, Sookie."

Holding my face stone still, I said, "Uh huh, planning a lot for me, are you? Trying to run my life and turn me into some fancy lady like Selah?"

He looked defeated. I could see devastation written all over his handsome face. I knew that look well. It was the same look he'd given me when I'd refused his offer to get free clothes from the shop he owned (well, leased) or refused to take those earrings he bought me after Dallas. He hung his head and sighed.

When he looked up again, I tweaked his nose and said, "Gotcha!"

Then I gave him a great big hug for being the only man who would bother to think of me as more than a waitress, or telepath, or pretty face. He valued me. For me. That was the best gift I'd ever received.

After I released him and kissed his cheek, I said, "O.K., my turn. Truth or dare, Bill?"

* * *

><p>AN – OK, I took another little serious turn, but I promise some more funny stuff next. I mean, I have to give piper1715 something other than Michigan J. Vampire to think of at work so she can try to muster some maturity.

Though I don't see why she should bother. I've been on the long road to maturity for years and lovin' it!

I have an idea about another image – but that's for the next chapter.

BTW, thanks to LMTO and miya (and anyone else I forgot to thank in a PM or couldn't thank in a PM) for the lovely reviews and encouragement. I'll try to up the ante with more hilarious foreplay!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 -

_Then I gave him a great big hug for being the only man who would bother to think of me as more than a waitress, or telepath, or pretty face. He valued me. For me. That was the best gift I'd ever received._

_After I released him and kissed his cheek, I said, "O.K., my turn. Truth or dare, Bill?"_

Bill smiled and made like he was about to lunge. _Finally!_

Then the phone rang.

_Shit!_

"Don't you dare answer that!"

"I have no intention of answering the phone, Sookie. Not for a long, long while."

That made me shiver. He lunged then, pinning me to the floor beneath him while he planted kisses all over my face, my neck, and down. He'd just started to tease my right nipple when a familiar voice on his answering machine made us both sit up and take notice.

"Hey there, Bill. Look, I don't mean to disturb you, but Jannalynn and I are in a little bit of jam out here in the woods. I tried Sookie first, but she ain't answering –"

Bill grabbed the phone. "Sam, what's happened?"

I watched his face, but he'd switched from Vampire Bill, sex-machine to Vampire Bill I'm-doing-my-best-impression-of-officer-Joe-Friday-just-the-facts faster than you could say 'damn that shifter!'

"Yes, I see. I'm not sure, but I'll go check her place and ask her." He looked at me and winked. I felt grateful that he didn't tell Sam I was there with him. He was true to his word – the choices were mine and I could still back out without a bunch of tongues wagging. Not that Sam would, but his Were bitch might.

"Of course you both can use my facilities, but I would prefer that you grab the old copper tub out of the old slave quarters out back. I'll make sure it's unlocked and I'll bring some hot water. Give me about ten minutes."

Now I was really confused. And curious. What on earth had Sam and Jannalynn gotten themselves into? And why wouldn't Bill let them in the house? That just seemed plain old rude!

"Hmm, I'll do my best, but you know how she is. She'll want to know why."

He kept listening. I could make out Sam's voice, but not his words. I could hear Jannalynn yelling something or other in the back. She had a big mouth. Bill was fighting really hard not to smile.

"No, I don't see the need to alert the pack, either. Just sit tight and I'll be out as soon as I can. Feel free to grab some blankets, too – you'll find some near the tub . . . It's no trouble . . . You are quite welcome."

Bill hung up and looked at me. He was having a mighty hard time keeping his composure. I was getting mad.

"O.K., I know there's no love lost between you and Sam Merlotte, but you could at least have the decency to invite him in. I mean, I can hide upstairs for Pete's sake!"

"It's not that . . . Sookie, do you have any tomato sauce at your house? Or canned tomatoes?"

"Sure. I always can my heirloom tomatoes for gumbo and spaghetti sauce. Why? You planning on expanding your culinary horizons?"

"No," he said, making the same disgusted face he always did when talking about human food. "May I borrow your house key so I can go get it? I may need a lot."

"Why?"

"I'd rather not get into it. Just trust me, alright?"

"I trust you. Just tell me why."

"I'd rather not."

"Then you can't have it."

"I could just take it."

"But you won't."

"Sookie. Give me the key."

"Just tell me what this is about."

"I promised Sam . . ."

"Oh . . . well, then you'll just have to break your promise. Besides, I heard what you said about me! You'll just have to tell him I bullied it out of you." I didn't like knowing that I had that sort of reputation, but if I did, I might as well use it to my advantage.

Bill sighed. "Fine, but please remember that Sam is a man, and as you've pointed out on many occasions, our egos bruise easily."

"I get it. I've known Sam a lot longer than you."

He looked stricken, but spoke before I could take it back, "Also, please bear in mind that Were's have pretty large egos, too, and nasty tempers. I understand you don't care too much for Jannalynn, but don't use this against her."

"What did she do?" I felt a surge of panic and anger. She'd hurt Sam! That had to be it! She'd done something evil, or gotten him mixed up with Were shit so bad that Sam had to call Bill Compton, arguably the last man on the planet he'd ask for help, to get him out of a jam.

"Relax, Sookie," he said, finally breaking down and chuckling. "You have such a protective streak. It's cute, but it also makes you a real pain in the ass sometimes."

I gave his arm a good-natured slug and immediately regretted it. Ouch! But I was laughing, too. "So, you gonna tell me so I can help, or are you going to leave Sam out in the dark all night?"

"Well, Sam and Jannalynn were out running, as shifters and Weres must at the full moon. They find it exciting, and if often leads to . . . other things."

"Oooooh! They were out canoodling in the woods? That sounds like fun!" _Hint, hint, Bill!_

"I'm sure it was. But they apparently got so wrapped up in canoodling, as you so charmingly put it, that they failed to notice the other creatures in their surroundings."

"What, did one of the get bitten on the ass by a gator?"

Bill, bless his heart, tried to keep a straight face, but he just couldn't. "No, they got too close to a pole cat."

_Oh my God!_

"You mean, Sam and Jannalynn were out buck naked, doing the nasty, and got sprayed by a skunk?"

"Apparently," he said between snorts, "the damned thing got them pretty good. I don't think you'll be seeing, or thankfully smelling, Sam at work for a few days. Now can we go get some tomato juice and run an outdoor bath for them?"

I nodded between sobs of laughter. I know. It's not right. I should not be making fun of Sam's predicament (though I had no problem laughing at his girlfriend, even if I did owe her for Sandra Pelt disposal). But you have to admit, it was pretty stinkin' hilarious. Literally!

"Um, Bill?"

"Yes?"

"After we help out Sam and the Were, do you think we could come back here, take your phone off the hook, lock the door, and get a little dirty ourselves?"

"Hmm," he said, smiling, "I do believe we've earned it. But I will ask you one more question"

"O.K.," I said, dreading it. I had a pretty good idea what he wanted to know. "What if I don't know the answer, or if you don't like it."

He looked at me with his dark, fathomless eyes – eyes I could still get lost in. "It doesn't matter. I will grant you what you desire regardless, Sookie. I would just like to know is all. But first things first – let's go rescue the shifters from nature and then we'll reward ourselves for our good deed."

* * *

><p>AN – Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews! Here's another shout out to miya and LMTO since I can't PM y'all – thanks!

We're in the home stretch, I promise!

BTW, bathing in tomato sauce is supposed to help wash away the stink of skunk spray - I have no idea if it works, but Sam seems to think so . . .


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 –

_Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep_

"Oh God, what the hell is that?"

_Shit!_ I knew what it was. It was my damned alarm clock! When had I set it? Why had I set it? _I don't remember setting it . . ._

I hadn't! I sat up and immediately regretted it. My head was pounding, my mouth tasted like moldy ass, and I felt dizzy. My fuzzy brain tried its best to turn itself on and remember how I got here.

I'd been at Bill's place. I'd been drinking. A lot.

Oh God! I had the mother of all hangovers.

And I hadn't even gotten laid!

I eased back down on the bed and waited for my head to stop pounding and my stomach to settle. While I waited, I went over what had happened. We were about to get our freak on, Bill and me, when we got interrupted by Sam Merlotte and his stupid Werewolf girlfriend on account of them getting skunk sprayed while going all Wild Kingdom out in the woods. Bill and I had driven (well Bill drove, since I was drunk) to my place, and we grabbed every last Mason jar full of canned tomatoes (including the ones that my late Gran had canned) in the pantry and took them back to his place. He'd left me on the couch while he tended to Sam and what's-her-face.

I felt sorry for him for about thirty seconds. Hell, Vampires had keen senses, so I could only imagine how unpleasant it had been for Bill, dealing with Eau du Wood Pussy on top of Shifter/Were smell.

Then I realized that I must have fallen asleep on the couch while I waited for him to get back.

And he didn't wake me up. Not only that, the bloodsucking bastard didn't wake me up the _fun_ way! No wonder I had aches in my nether region to go along with the big one in my head! He'd given me the female equivalent of blue balls!

I stood up as slow and careful as I could, went to the bathroom to pee for about an hour (well, it seemed like it anyhow), stripped off my sleep shirt, and then got my grungy ass in the shower. Of course Bill hadn't washed me, or even put my panties back on. Even Mr. King-of-self-restraint had his limits. That made me feel a little better. The hot water helped, too, as did two rounds of toothbrushing. Now all I needed was coffee, a good breakfast, and possibly a stake.

I stumbled toward the kitchen and was surprised to smell the very welcome aroma of coffee brewing. _Huh?_ I went to open the fridge so I could figure out what to scare up for breakfast when I spied his note, folded and secured under one of my many magnets. I decided I'd read it later. First, food and the caffeinated sweet nectar of the morning.

I got an even bigger shock when I opened the fridge.

There, in the middle of the second shelf, rested a tray upon which stood a tall glass of orange juice, a bowl of fresh fruit that was covered in plastic wrap, and a big bowl of yogurt. There was a little plastic baggie with what looked like granola on the side, and a goddamn vase with a flower in the middle on the other side – O.K., that was a nice touch, I'll admit. Beside the tray stood a liter bottle of water, one of those fancy Evian deals. Written on the front of the bottle in neat block sharpie letters was "Drink me, Sookie."

I also noticed a couple of ibuprofen sitting on the side of the tray.

Sighing, and grudgingly grateful, I pulled out the tray and put it on my kitchen table. I opened the bottle of water, took two big gulps, and swallowed my pills. I poured myself a cup of coffee and returned to the table, still marveling at the breakfast spread sitting before me.

Of course, it wasn't my usual fare, but either he remembered or had read (probably read) that greasy food and a hungover stomach don't mix. Either that, or he was trying to tell me that my ass was getting too big and that I needed to eat lighter. Maybe both. Still, he'd made breakfast for me. _Vampire Bill made me breakfast. _

Now Vampires hate human food, absolutely despise it. Don't ask me why, since they used to eat it for crying out loud, and considering what they lived on after . . . but something about the process of becoming undead makes them positively squeamish around it. Especially meat, which is probably the real reason why I didn't have sausage or bacon waiting for me. Still, he must have cut the fruit himself, and poured the OJ, and fixed up the yogurt and granola – hey, it actually tasted pretty good together – and set the coffee maker. This is pretty huge, since Bill had let me know – loudly and often – how much he hates human food.

_Well, will wonders never cease?_

Maybe I wouldn't get that stake after all.

I decided to go ahead and read while I ate – hey, I'm a multi-tasker - unfolding his note and traced the meandering lines of his old-fashioned cursive script.

_Dearest Sookie,_

_I do not know how much of last evening you recall. Please know that nothing unseemly happened, so you have no need to wonder or fret._

(I snorted – no kidding, big boy! Not for lack of trying on my part, pal!)

_If you do, in fact, recall our time together, then I'll wager you're feeling quite angry, perhaps embarrassed (though you needn't be), and perhaps a bit uncertain of my feelings for you. Understand this: it took monumental effort to keep me from taking you to my bed and ravishing you all night. I wanted you as fiercely as I believe you wanted me, and not only on account of your consumption of spirits. I'd like to believe that, but I could not in good conscience take your body while uncertain of your will. I realized that after I found you sleeping peacefully on my sofa._

_You are worth far more to me than that._

(Aww damn! He had to go and get all mooshy! How the hell can I stay mad at him when he does that?)

_I would very much like to call on you tomorrow evening, though I would request that you limit yourself to one glass of bourbon-spiked tea if you feel you must have a drink. In the meantime, you'll find breakfast in the refrigerator, and I set the timer on your coffee maker to coincide with your alarm. I do apologize for the latter, but as I could not be there to serve you myself, I choose this option to ensure it would be fresh. Please drink all of the water. I understand it helps, though in my days of soldiering we were admonished to take a shot of whiskey as a cure for overindulgence. _

_I do not recommend this._

(Oh ho ho! Did we do a little drinkin' back in the day, Billy Boy? I'd have loved to have seen that. Guess I'd have to wait until the next time he caught a Fae, though I definitely wouldn't wish that on anyone – except maybe Neave, but she already got what was coming to her.)

_I do, however, recommend the bananas. I also left some Gatorade in your pantry._

(Great. Bill Compton - Farmer, Soldier, Red Hot Vampire Stud Muffin, Area 5 Investigator, and apparently he'd earned an M.D. in there somewhere . . .)

_I took the liberty of connecting your computer to my high-speed wireless Internet router. You'll find your password at the end of this message. Change it once you logon the first time. That way, you're online business will be your own._

_Perhaps you will thing me too forward, but I recently secured a new rental property between Bon Temps and Monroe. It is an old office complex and it needs a bit of work, but I thought you might find it suitable for a business venture. _

_You've used your talents for the Vampire and Were community, not to mention your own family, for years. While our Sheriff no doubt compensated you generously for your efforts, you could and should profit from your skills all on your own. Stackhouse Investigations has a nice ring, don't you think? There is definitely a market, and Supes are generally more trusting of their own kind than humans. A PI license isn't difficult to come by – you'll find an application on your computer desktop, and I would be happy to provide a reference._

(Hmm, taking a big risk there, Bill – suggesting what I might want to do with the office space you offered, and mentioning Eric. Either you're monumentally stupid, which I know isn't true, or you really are serious.)

_I believe you'll find Mr. Herveaux more than willing to provide the labor and materials necessary for your office renovations – he's imposed on your hospitality on more than one occasion. By the way, try not to be too hard on him. Apparently Sam and Jannalyn weren't the only two-natured who experienced a bit of trouble last night. My apologies, but he was in no fit state to travel, and I really had nowhere else to put him._

_I hope to see you after sunset._

_All my love,_

_Bill_

_Okay, Bill. You had me until that last part. Alcide?_ I heard a loud groan and what sounded like a lamp being knocked over from my old bedroom. When I stepped out of the kitchen, I was just in time to see a naked (and very nice) rear end running from my room to the bathroom. The door slammed, and I heard the unmistakable sounds of last night's dinner in reverse.

"Hey, Alcide? You alright in there?" I asked as I knocked.

"Almost. Give me a sec, O.K.?"

"Sure thing. I left your pants outside the door. Want some Gatorade?"

"That'd be nice. Much obliged, Sookie."

I poured him a glass and left it on the table, and then figured I might as well dig into breakfast while I waited. Looked like this day was bound to be just as weird as yesterday. _Hey! This yogurt granola crap is pretty good!_ My stomach had settled by the time the half-naked Were entered my kitchen looking about five shades of green.

"Sorry about the lamp, Sookie. I'll fix it. I did clean up after myself in your bathroom."

"No worries. You look like hell. What happened?"

"Full moon. I was out with the pack but got side-tracked looking for Jannalynn - "

"Oh, she was off with Sam."

He gave me a look of confusion, but then just shook it off. I get that a lot. Most folks assume I have psychic powers to go along with the telepathy. Better not elaborate, since Jannalynn probably didn't want her Packmaster to know she'd been skunk sprayed.

Though I was sorely tempted to tattle.

"Anyway, I guess I must've come across a carcass of some kind, and the wolf part of me just couldn't resist . . ."

"Oh good Lord! Say no more, just drink your Gatorade and be on your way!"

"Oh, right," he said, looking sheepish. "Sorry to impose on you again. I guess the Vampire didn't trust me in his house."

"Bill's pretty particular. If you'd broken his lamp, he'd have made you sorry."

"Right. Well, he did give me the address for your new office. I'll drive by on my way home and take a look. You have any preference on the interior?"

"Let me give it a think. Oh, and can you leave me the address as well? I sort of forgot where I put my copy."

"Will do, Sookie. Thanks for the bed and the hospitality."

"Anytime. You gonna be O.K. driving?"

"Yeah. It's not the worst thing I ever ate after shifting."

"I don't wanna know. Bye, Alcide."

"Bye, Sook."

I had a lot to think about, apparently. I probably needed to think about Eric, but I was still all kinds of mad and hurt. Luckily, I didn't have the blood bond to confound things anymore. And then there was this whole Sookie Stackhouse business-woman stuff. True, I'd had more fun solving Supe mysteries than I'd ever had in my life before, even in spite of the danger. Bill had always encouraged me to believe in myself and helped me hone my skills. I'd never thought of leaving Merlotte's; I kinda saw myself growing old and ornery like Flo off that show 'Alice,' working at the diner until I keeled over from a heart attack or something.

All alone.

That had been before Bill. It seemed I'd come full circle. I hated being beholden to him or anyone else, but the idea of being a PI did have a certain appeal . . . I guess it wouldn't hurt to look at the stuff he left on the computer, and to have a swing by that office . . .

I heard a scratching at the door that shook me out of my little moment of introspection. _What the hell now?_ I decided it could wait until I grabbed another cup of coffee and finished the bottled water that Dr. Compton had so kindly prescribed.

When I opened the front door I felt pretty annoyed. No one was there. Then I looked a little to the left and Jesus Christ Shepherd of Judea there was Dean the dog, a.k.a. Sam Merlotte, my boss and sometimes crush, now in his preferred puppy form, sitting on my front porch and licking his balls.

"Let me guess. Because you can, right?"

Dean/Sam turned around and sat up straight. Seemed as though even people disguised as dogs could still feign innocence pretty well. Of course, if I could lick myself in that general area, I might not ever leave the house . . .

"Oh my goodness! Do you need some more tomatoes?"

Poor thing hung his head and I felt a little bad for him, but he did smell something awful! I guessed he wouldn't be coming into work today. _Oh! Oh no you don't, Sam Merlotte!_

"Look, I'm sorry you got sprayed, but I am off today and I intend to stay as far away from the bar as possible. I'll be happy to call someone else for you, but - "

He hopped up faster than I'd ever seen him move and nipped me on the butt!

"Sam!"

I was about to get a newspaper and swat him on the ass when he pointed, with his nose, of course, to an envelope resting near the corner of the porch where he had been.

"O.K., I'll read it. You could have just come on over as yourself, you know."

He hung his head in shame, and then I felt really sorry for him. I guessed he didn't want to run into anyone else in town and have them get a whiff of him. So, I sighed and started reading note number two of the day:

_Dear Sookie,_

_Thank you for your help last night. Bill told me that you were gracious enough to lend me and Jannalynn your tomatoes, including your Gran's stock. I'm so sorry that we troubled you, but I am grateful for your generosity._

_I read between the lines and figured out that you were at Bill's place when I called. Don't worry, he didn't tell me or anything – I just smelled you on him. I have to say, whatever you did for him after the Bellefleur funeral, the man looks much better. He had lots of folks worried, including me believe it or not. I never cared for him on account of being jealous over you, but he's kind of grown on me, and the rest of the town, since then._

_He probably wouldn't want me to tell you, but I talked to him when he came to the bar after fighting the Fae. That was the night I saw how bad off he was. He told me what those Fairies did to you. I swear, Sookie, sick or not, he looked ready to kill them all over again. He has his faults, pride being one of them. He stormed out of my office when I told him I was fixing to call you. He looked like I'd slapped him across the face when I suggested that your fairy blood might help him._

_I reckon something real bad must have happened between you two somewhere along the line, if he wouldn't even take blood from you as a friend. I also have a sneaking suspicion that he's set aside a college fund or something for you. Don't get all mad, but I got a call from the bank asking if it was legit. Guess they still don't trust Vamps. They probably hadn't heard I was a Shifter or they wouldn't have called me either. I just thought you ought to know all this. I don't want to pry into your personal business, but I think I can safely say that Bill Compton really does love you. He may have his faults, but love can overlook a lot. Believe me, I know. Jannalynn's a pill sometimes, but I love her something awful and I doubt that'll change. Especially since we just got sprayed together._

_Whatever you decide, know you have my blessing and my friendship._

_Yours truly,_

_Sam_

Well color me surprised! I felt so touched and elated that I threw my arms around Dean/Sam and gave him a huge hug until I just couldn't take the smell anymore. He gave me a lick on the nose and then pointed at a box on the other side of my porch. I opened it up and found a $150 gift card to the new spa and nail bar in Monroe I'd been wanting to try, and a bottle of Royalty, which I assumed he meant as a thank you for Bill.

"Sam, you didn't have to do all that."

He barked twice, and then padded off my porch and back toward the woods. I doubted I'd ever get the whole ball-licking image out of my head, but I knew for certain I'd be pondering over his words for the next few hours.

I went back inside and did some stuff on the computer, and then I grabbed my keys and headed out. I had a lot to do before sunset, but first on my agenda, after buying a case of tomato sauce and dropping it off at Sam's place, was to go and look at my new office.

Then I'd go and get a new hairdo and my nails done, just in time for a date night do over with Vampire Bill.

* * *

><p>AN – Here's a late Christmas/early New Year's gifty for all of my fellow Bill Shippers out there in the cold, dark of cyberspace . . . pining away for their favorite brooding, sexy Vamp . . .

He'll make a big appearance in the next chapter – Scout's honor! No, really, I swear it this time! Hey, where y'all going?

Thanks to everyone for putting up with my silliness, sporadic posts, and overall pain-in-the-arse-ishness. You know I love all y'all and that I'll get around to finishing this thing before the next book comes out. Which, by the way, I read features our favorite Vampire working on a murder investigation with Ms. Stackhouse. Lots of possibilities there . . .


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 –

I found out Bill wasn't kidding about the office needing some repairs. Alcide, true to his word and Bill's, told me he'd do all the work for free. I wondered if Bill was making him pay for showing up in my bed naked, or if he just liked screwing with the big Were. For his part, Alcide told me he could have it operational in two weeks and then come back and do touch-ups after I moved in and worked out how to set up shop and decorate.

The one thing that made him raise one sexy, arched brow was my request for a custom made sign.

Lucky for him, he had the good sense not to ask too many questions. He'd have the sign ready night after next.

The spa treatment ROCKED! If I'd known how wonderful facials and foot rubs felt, I would have gotten one years ago. Plus, Sam had me request one of the closeted two-natured aestheticians so I wouldn't have to work so hard staying out of her head.

That was thoughtful.

I got home late in the afternoon and spent some time tidying up the house. I slipped into a sexy sundress and fiddled with my hair. I wanted to do it up, but then I remembered how much Bill enjoyed having it drape over my shoulders. He could brush it himself again, if he wanted. Thinking about that made me think about our first time, my first time, and made me all hot and bothered again.

_God I hope he does something about that!_

I decided to grab a glass of tea and wait for him on the front porch. I had a little fondue pot of warm water and I set the bottle of Royalty in it so it would warm. He walked out of the woods at human speed, which I found to be a bit disappointing. I mean, I'd have run to him at Mach 3 last night if I could have. Still, I guess I understood his caution. I'll admit that from his perspective, which I'd considered a lot today, I could be pretty unpredictable. Maybe that's why he liked me, though I'm sure the boobs didn't hurt, or the Fae blood. I sighed. He _loved_ me because I'd always accepted him without fear or judgment, at least until things went wrong between us. I wondered why he never gave up. I'd have to ask him that.

"Good evening, Sookie. How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Better than fine, actually. Why don't you have a seat? Sam brought over some Royalty as a way of saying thanks."

Bill walked over and sat down next to me on my porch swing. He grabbed glass and took a long draw, obviously enjoying the taste. I got a little lost in watching him swallow. After savoring his beverage, he looked at me carefully. "You're relaxed. Sam thanked you as well?"

One arched brow rose and I braced myself for a fight. _You smell like him. _ It echoed through my brain, the jealous mantra of a territorial Vampire. _Mine! _ Of course, the thought of him with Lorena, or worse, with Sela, had given me a taste and then some. I held my breath and waited. Then Bill did the most amazing thing.

He laughed.

I stared at him, dumbfounded.

"What?"

"I'm just surprised, is all. I thought you'd be . . . mad."

He chuckled again. "Sam mentioned something about a spa trip, a card, and lifetime designation as employee of the month. You thought I'd be jealous."

"Yeah. You kinda have that M.O., you know?"

"I know. I've been working on it."

I felt a little bit warmer inside and out. "Good to know. Guess you're never too old to grow, huh?"

"No, you never are. So . . . truth or dare, Sookie?"

"What? Oh no you don't, Bill Compton! I believe it's my turn!"

"I call bullshit on that, Sweetheart. I did, if you recall, give into the dare you issued with your eyes and body. It's not my fault your boss called." He gave me a wicked, wicked smile that smoldered like pure sin laced with the smug bastard's ill-gotten triumph.

"That's so not fair!"

"Chicken."

"Am not!"

"Then man up or shut up."

"I'm a woman!"

"I am very, _very_ well aware of that."

"Fine! Dare!"

He gave me a huge, fangy grin. Finally, _finally_ I just knew he was gonna let me have it. _All_ of it. Any which way I wanted it and some ways I probably hadn't even thought of. I could see the hard outline against his tight pants and I swear my mouth watered.

"Close your eyes, Sookie."

* * *

><p>"Bill?"<p>

"Yes, darling?"

"What in the holy hell are we doing out in the middle of the woods this time of night, and why do you have a boom box? And, Jesus Christ Shepherd of Judea, are you wearing waders?"

Once my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I realized that Bill fucking Compton had not, in fact, carried me back to his house so he could fuck me until I fainted. He'd carried me, Vampire speed, to one of the wider creek beds in the woods out back of our land and he'd put on waders.

He pointed to a pair next to me on the bank and said, "You can put on a pair, too, if you like, but I'll bet we're going to have to get wet anyway. Maybe we should just go naked."

"Bill, um, I'm all about skinny dippin' honey, but that creek is full of gators, snappers, and probably a few water moccasins. I'm not immortal, you know?"

"Turn on the music."

"What?"

"Sookie, I love you. I love you more than life itself, or in my case, existence. But you are working my last good nerve and that is a very dangerous thing to do to a vampire. You wanted me to laugh with you more, you wanted us to have more fun, and you took my dare. Turn. On. The. Goddamned. Music."

_Oh my. Commanding Bill._ I could definitely cream my panties for that. I walked as daintily as I could over uneven ground and hit play. I had just pulled my shirt over my head when I heard the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band wailing for all the damned woods to hear.

_Shinin' through the trees  
>Crickets are singin' and lightning bugs<br>Are floatin' on the breeze baby get ready_

_Across the field where the creek turns back_  
><em>By the old stump row<em>  
><em>I'm gonna take you to a special place<em>  
><em>That nobody knows baby get ready<em>

_You and me go fishin' in the dark_  
><em>Lyin' on our backs and countin' the stars<em>  
><em>Where the cool grass grows<em>  
><em>Down by the river in the full moonlight<em>  
><em>We'll be fallin' in love in the middle of the night<em>  
><em>Just movin' slow<em>  
><em>Stayin' the whole night through<em>  
><em>It feels so good to be with you<em>

I froze.

I fell over.

I laughed so fucking hard I thought I'd pass out. Or piss myself. I wasn't sure. When he stood over top of me with a shit-eating grin and a big ass catfish latched onto his arm, I lost it all over again.

"You liked the show. I thought you might enjoy noodling yourself. It's pretty crazy," he said, looking at the ginormous fish attached to his arm, "but I have to admit, it works better than the homemade stick rods I used to fish with."

"William Thomas Compton. I love you. I'd have to love any man or Supe who would go to such lengths to win me over!"

His grin got a lot wider and fangier. He tossed the catfish aside and grabbed me not so gently so he could pull me against his cool, hard body. His gaze burned into mine, but he didn't move. He waited. He was waiting for me.

"Bill, kiss me."

"Ask me, Sookie."

"Bill, will you kiss me?"

"Beg me, Sookie."

His voice dripped with sensuality, and though I have a lot of pride, I sensed that my humiliation was not what he sought. He wanted to know how badly I wanted him, needed him. He needed to know that before he'd put his heart back on the line.

"God, Bill, please. I need your lips on mine. Please kiss me, please, please . . ."

It was only a whisper, but it was enough. He swallowed the last of my pleas with his cool lips that soon turned to fire as they slid across mine. God, could he kiss. He teased my lower lip with his tongue and his fangs, grazing sensitive skin without breaking it. God, I was dying. When he slid his tongue into my warm and waiting mouth, I swear I felt it in my toes.

I ran my fingers through that dark hair as I tried to pull him closer. Kissing was heaven. Kissing Bill made me feel like I'd either explode or I would melt into a puddle at his feet.

Pretty soon, kissing wasn't nearly enough.

I wrapped one leg around him and tried to press myself against him, my aching center seeking sweet friction, but then I remembered what he still wore. As horny as I was and had been for more than 24 hours, I just couldn't help my fit of giggles. I mean, seriously, you can't get all hot and bothered when your man is sporting waders.

I thought he might get mad at me, but to my surprise he joined me in a fit of laughter. It was dark, but enough light came from the moon and the boom box display that I could not mistake the transformation on my vampire's face. He seemed so . . . free. I'd never, ever seen him laugh with such abandon.

It was beautiful.

"Let's pack up and get back to my house," he said between chuckles.

The look in his eyes let me know that my wait was most definitely over.

* * *

><p>AN – And your wait, dear fellow Bill-Shippers, is almost over as well. Next chapter. I swear.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N – I know – it's been a while. I'm sorry. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait. Thanks to all of you lovely Bill-shippers who've R&Red, especially those who PMed and inspired me to get off my butt and post another chapter.

My excuse – I've been working on original material, and am VERY pleased to report that I've made my first sale! I have a contemporary romance novella under contract, tentative release date May 2013. No supernatural critters in this one, but I've got a few other projects with ghosts and mermaids on board and looking for a home.

If anyone is interested in details, PM me and I'll tell y'all all about it.

In the meantime, enjoy this chapter. I'll try to post the next (and probably final) soon!

* * *

><p>Chapter 9 –<p>

"Bill, can't you, um, you know . . .?"

"Can't I what, Sookie?"

"Can't you just pick me up and carry me all fast and furious Vampire style?"

"A little anxious, sweetheart?"

_Ohhhh you're gonna get it, mister! _ I swear he loved seeing me mad as much as he loved seeing me all hot and bothered. Why else would he insist on packing up all of the shit he'd dragged out to the creek and carrying it back to his place.

Human speed.

At least he didn't ask me to carry anything. He just walked. Real, real, slow.

"Bill, what the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm teaching you patience, Sweetheart. Next, I'll teach you how to speak like a lady. Swearing has it's place, namely the bedroom, but it won't do out in public."

"We're. In. The. Middle. Of. The. Fucking. Woods."

"No, Sookie, we are in the middle of the woods. Woods don't fuck, just the creatures within it."

"Bill."

"Yes?"

"I love you. I love you more than life itself. But you are working my last good nerve and that is a very dangerous thing to do to a horny Fae-human hybrid with a short temper and a scorching case of Tourette Syndrome."

"Point taken. Hold on tight."

Next thing I knew, my Vampire picked me up and carried me Vamp speed times one thousand back to his place. He plopped me on his sofa, knowing I'd need a moment to get over feeling disoriented. Then, he zipped through the house putting his stuff away and presumably making his preparations. It was always fascinating to watch Vampires in action that way. I wondered why I hadn't asked him to do more around the house back when we were dating.

Jackass stubborn pride, that's why.

"Sookie?"

"Hey, where are you?" I asked. I'd lost track of him somewhere between the living room and kitchen. Of course, after he'd stopped zipping around and whipping up mini gale force winds, I had the chance to hear the water running. In the bathroom . . .

He walked out human speed clad in a thick robe. Handing me one, he said, "Maybe we could bathe together."

Oh, God. I couldn't breathe.

"Maybe now?"

"Okay," I whispered, mostly because my mouth was busy watering at the sight of Bill in his robe.

"Sookie, I won't make you wait any longer, but I'm going to take my time with you tonight. It's been so long and I'm starving for you, but I need to make love to you slowly. Will you let me?"

"No."

"No, you won't let me make love to you, or no you won't let me go slowly?"

"I'm not that naïve little virgin anymore, Bill. I've grown a lot since then."

"I know, Sookie, though I wish . . . no, that's past. I'm glad you've grown and I love the woman you've become as much as I loved the girl you were. And I did love you then, as I love you now."

"That's good, because I want to make love _with_ you, Bill, any which way and every which way we like. Sound good?"

"It does, indeed. Shall we?"

I accepted his proffered hand and let him lead me to his ginormous bathroom with the Jacuzzi tub I'd missed almost as much as I'd missed my Vampire. We undressed and climbed in, me on one side and him on the other. I wanted to launch myself at him, but reminded myself that he wanted to take things slowly and that I'd agreed. Also, since I maintained that I'd grown, I decided to prove it to him and to myself by savoring the evening.

He held out his hand, bidding me come over to his side. I took it, tickled pink when I felt the slight tremor running through it upon contact. He put me against his back, enfolding me in his gentle embrace and held me for a while. Then, he let his hands trail over my skin, his feather light touches leaving a trail of fire in their wake. God, I'd missed this. Missed _him_.

I wanted to turn around, fingers aching to touch him, but then he brought those clever fingers up to trace my nipples. I watched in fascination while the pleasure surged through my body and pooled low in my belly, between my thighs, through every pore. Watching him as he touched me heightened the sensation, making me moan in appreciation.

"That good?"

"Oh yeah," I replied between pants.

Bill continued stroking me with slow, loving strokes that were oh-so-delicious but not nearly enough. I'd never come just from having my breasts stroked before, but maybe if he used his tongue . . .

"Bill, please . . . more," I whispered, trying to turn around so I could bring his mouth to me.

"Slow, Sookie. Slow."

"I know, but I need more now."

"I'll take care of you. Turn back around. I need you to . . ."

Something in his voice gave me pause. This wasn't just about savoring the moment with me or being in control, at least not totally. He needed something else, his desperation of the quiet sort.

"What do you need, Bill?"

"I need you to be able to trust me again, Sookie."

"Oh Bill," I whispered, fighting back tears. I should have guessed. Rather than answer him, lest I spook him or throw us both out of the moment, I turned back around and molded my body against his.

He brought his hands back to my breasts, bringing me back to the edge of sanity, and then he moved his hands lower over my belly and down. I felt his arousal pressing against my back as I slid my body against his, moving higher to grant him better access. He ran light fingers over my inner thighs and then slowly over the flesh between my legs, tickling the soft hair there and making me gasp with pleasure and frustration.

I tried to be still for him, but my body pushed against his hands of its own volition, seeking the friction I so desperately needed. And, God bless him, Bill finally brought his fingers where I needed them, flicking them over that sweet spot at the top of my sex as he slid two fingers into my core, his hips pushing against me and urging me to ride his hands. It didn't take long, and my release was ferocious. Holding nothing back, I screamed his name as I came hard.

He let me turn around after that and kiss him. Mindful of his fangs, which had extended longer than I ever remembered seeing them, I worshiped his mouth with mine, breathing words of thanks and devotion. I could tell he was hungry, and I'd been waiting for him to feed, expecting he'd nip my neck while I came.

I pulled his face to my neck and said, "Go on. Feed on me."

He pulled away from my neck. A flash of shock and pain shot across his features before, typical of Bill, he went back to stone-faced mode, dropping his eyes. So very Bill. Normally, this would be right about when I'd get my feelings hurt or get good and pissed off at him, and then walk away.

_Not again. Never, ever, again._

"Bill, look at me."

I waited, then he looked up. I waited some more. He sighed, then relaxed his features as much as I figured he was capable. Hell, give the almost 200 years he'd spent squeezing diamonds with his ass cheeks, fine as they might be, this was tantamount (another word of the day) to transparency. He was hungry, and he let it show.

He also gave me his jackass stubborn 'I'm not gonna do what you want and you can't make me' face. I understood why. Last time he'd fed on me . . . _Nope. Not going back there._ But, in order to heal the both of us and to build a new foundation for where our relationship might go next, he needed to do this. I needed him to do this, too.

"You remember what you asked me when we found Uncle Dermot?"

"Yes."

"Later tonight, when you're ready and it feels right, I want you to say that to me again. But first, I'm going to have a taste of you, Bill."

I had a nanosecond to revel in the sight of his arched brows shooting up to his hairline before I took him in hand, so to speak, and urged him to sit up high on the Jacuzzi seat – hey, I had my talents, but holding my breath long enough to do what I had in mind properly wasn't one of them. Keeping my eyes on his, I took just the tip of him into my mouth, his hiss of pleasure almost as rewarding as surprising him.

"Sookie, you don't have to -"

"I want to, and trust is a two-way street."

To his credit, and my surprise, he shut his mouth (well, as much as he could with the ginormous fang-boner he had going on), leaned back, and let me work my magic. Also, to his absolute credit, he didn't grab my head or thrust into my mouth. He seemed to be working on the whole trust and control thing, which I appreciated. And I showed him by taking him deep in my throat, using his grunts and groans as a guide, bringing him to the edge and back over and over until his hands gripped the edge of the seat so tight, I worried he might break the fiberglass.

That would be a shame – plus, he'd probably get his boxers in a wad about having to fix it, which would put a big damper on this perfectly wonderful evening we'd started.

So I finished him, swallowed what he offered, and boy howdy did I feel like Sookie Stackhouse, goddess of sex.

"You are an amazing woman, Sookie Stackhouse."

"Uh huh. I'll just bet you don't say 'you don't have to' next time I offer a blow-job."

He gave me the wide smile of a man well-satisfied and said, "I do hope there will be a next time. But for now, how about we dry off and take this to the bedroom?"

"Sounds like a fine idea to me. But I do have one request."

"What's that, sweetheart?"

"I think we've covered the making love slowly pretty well, and I'm all kinds of ready for the main event. What do you say we shift gears into reunion sex mode? Kinda like after Dallas?"

I didn't have to ask twice. Vampire speed does have its advantages, like lightening fast dry offs and transportation to the bedroom. Bill didn't rush the entry, and I adored him for it. He spent his time exploring me again with fingers, fangs, and tongue. Then, he bent me over the bed, and I felt him inside of me.

"I love you," he whispered.

He didn't speak after that, and I adored him for that as well. I thought back to our first time, remembering how I'd marveled at his silence. He bathed me in the comfort of his silence as he worshipped my body with his. I returned the favor by keeping silent. I didn't ask him to feed each time I came, and I didn't when he came.

I didn't after we made love again, me on top of him reveling in the sensation and the control. We took a break at some point, and naturally he insisted on brushing my hair. Keeping my voice low, so as not to disturb the peace of the moment, I said, "I went by the office today. Alcide says it should be ready for me in a couple of weeks."

"Good. Have you decided what you want to do with the space?"

"Yes."

_Three, two, one._

"May I ask what you plan to do?"

"How about you come by tomorrow night and see it? Maybe you can guess."

He chuckled, the sound less rusty, but it still enchanted me as much as it had that first night. "I'd like that."

Bill put the hairbrush aside on the nightstand and reclined against a pillow. I ran my fingers through my hair, pleased with the job he'd done on it, and then leaned back against him. We enjoyed cuddle time until I rolled over and looked up into his face.

"There's something you need to say to me, Bill."

He looked at me a long, long time. Damn it, being patient with him was tough, but I managed to give him the time he needed. Finally, he leaned over, his face filled with hunger, longing, and a trace of sorrow I'd have given anything to erase, he said, "I'm so hungry. Feed me, Sookie."

"Come here."

I urged him to roll on top of me. It was surprising, given what we are about to do, but I didn't feel any anxiety or fear. I trusted him. Now, he needed to trust himself.

He kissed me, and, as I'd hoped, entered me again and began to gently move within me. When I felt the delicious pressure building, I pulled him to my neck and he bit as I came, the small pain exciting me enough to come again. While he fed, I stroked his hair and his back, whispering that I loved him, reassuring him that I was okay with him feeding.

He didn't take very much, and I didn't push the issue. I was just glad we'd gotten through this first time. Neither of us felt much like talking, so we just wrapped our arms around one another and enjoyed the closeness. The last thing I remembered before drifting off to sleep was Bill's whisper.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I love you."


End file.
